Isaiah 51:7,11
"Listen to Me, you who know righteousness, you people in whose heart is My law: Do not fear the reproach of men, Nor be afraid of their insults.
For the moth will eat them up like a garment, and the worm will eat them like wool; but My righteousness will be forever, and My salvation from generation to generation. "
"So the ransomed of the Lord shall return, and come to Zion with singing, with everlasting joy on their heads. They shall obtain joy and gladness; Sorrow and sighing shall flee away."
Isaiah 54:17 (Amplified)
But no weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgement you shall show to be in the wrong. This (peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition) is the heritage of the servants of the Lord (those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced); this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me (this is that which I impart to them as their justification), says the Lord.
Those I've been talking to will know, the recent months have been trying for me. Don't really want to go into details, suffice to say - it's come in the form of verbal criticism and left me feeling like a failure and just so, so weary.
Don't get me wrong, the Lord still has been faithful. He's lavished upon me love and understanding, words in season but it seemed as though the "playback" button on my head was stuck on the "criticism category" instead of the rest that the Lord so dearly provides.
Truth be told, i felt so shaken that at a few points in time, i knew the only thing that stood between Kai-Lin-the-Child-of-God and Kai-Lin-going-ballistic was the love of God that never forsook me. He didn't forsake me. But somehow along the way, i had simply found myself nodding along to all the voices coming from the outside - giving in to those thoughts that simply wretch you out from the place of looking to Christ and sinks you into the depression that comes when you look to yourself.
But even in the midst of the darkness i felt i was experiencing, He would whisper sweet words of love to my heart, that His "grace is sufficient for you (me) and My (His) strength is made perfect in your (my) weakness". yet i felt my feelings wavering crazily, like a confused yo-yo, wondering why it was that at this point in time, when i spent more time than i have in the past in His Word and praying in the Spirit, all this continued?
My foundation wasn't fully built on His estimation of me. so as everything was shaken, so was i. deep down inside, i was aware of it, but i didn't want to accept it. and refused to, until my brother said it point-blank in my face on sunday. you bet it hurt, but it was necessary. an issue that needs to be resolved on the inside. its not what people are saying, its that inside, i can't deal with it. that's why it shakes my world.
"Know ye the truth and the truth shall set you free."
Pastor preached on this before, but while i thought i'd got it then, this little seed is starting to really grow now. i felt bound, pressed, simply awful in ways i couldn't really describe. i became sensitive to myself and the words of others, rather than sensitive to the words of God. the exact opposite of what i desired. and again, i didn't know why. i prayed and prayed, asked God why and why and why and why and why... you get the idea.
Someone told me that "truth hurts". another said, "what if what they're saying is the truth?" the first was said in jest, the second out of concern, but both hurt equally. (though neither was aimed to hurt. anyways, all forgiven) but it got me thinking, what if what they're saying really is the truth? and that started another whole spiral of thoughts that were far from edifying.
But the Lord reminded me of the verse above "Know ye the truth and the truth shall set you free." and His Word is truth.
Truth is a word sadly abused in the modern society. its used in phrases such as "to tell you the truth..." where something unpleasant is about to be said and the receiver of those words tend to put their guard up straight away.
But that's not what God says truth is.
Truth is not equivalent to fact. cause facts change, when, for example, there's a new scientific invention, a new school of thought, blah blah blah.
Beyond that, truth is something that can be tested, pressured and still remain. facts can be changed, affected, removed, replaced - like how man used to think the earth was flat (it was a fact then) until Christopher Columbus went for a holiday. Truth doesn't change according to circumstances in life - from every angle, it remains the truth.
And that's what God's word is. "Jesus loves Kai Lin" there's truth.
That truth doesn't change according to how i feel, nor does it sway according to what i experience. it remains steady and sure, whether or not i believe in it. but when i realise truly that that's truth, the truth that Christ loves me beyond measure every micromillisecond that passes, that the cross of Jesus has redeemed me beyond all failure, that the righteousness of God is on my side and His heart is tender towards me, i've found the rock on which i can base my life on. the truth that will establish me as one who will be unshaken by circumstance, by testing.
Fact may dictate my insufficiency, but TRUTH says that i'm not powerless. i don't have to slavishly bow to my circumstances that exist in fact. i'm more than a conqueror! i'm a King and High Priest, set apart and fit for the Master's use! facts have to conform to the truth, and i know, the Word of God - the truth shall not return to Him void. that's honest truth.
