The scars of yesterday can be your stars tomorrow :)

isn't the line of the title cool? pastor prince mentioned it in passing two days ago. and praise Jesus, cos it's such a line which restores hope into the hearts of the ones who hear it. that your scars will be scars no longer, that upon contact with the resurrection life of Jesus, they turn into stars, gloriously shining for the world to see.

Pastor's message on sunday was on the blessing of Abraham, and how the Holy Spirit had lingered and lingered, unwilling and sad to leave Israel, and how it had returned after the resurrection of Jesus Christ, eagerly and mightily filling the disciples in the room.

personally, i think that changed my view of the Holy Spirit a great deal.

my brother mentioned to me once, to not underestimate the Holy Spirit. The presence of God is not something feeble that suffers from "interruptions" in your quiet time with the Lord. Sure, we can all pray that whatever time that we choose to spend with the Lord will be guarded by God and that no interruptions will spring up, but hey, even if anything comes by, so what? the touch of God's presence isn't something feeble to be broken off, by let's say, your parent looking in and asking you to clean up your room.

and the message preached by pastor really reinforced that. the lack of so-called "feeling" the Holy Spirit does not, by any means diminish its presence, for the Holy Spirit is a helper of Jesus who NEVER LEAVES NOR FORSAKES you.

and Daddy God is eager, eager and willing to come to you to sozo (save) you out of your distresses. and its time that we all grab hold of that and call on Jesus with the heart and mind that is assured that He answers immediately and to an extent where it far exceeds our needs.

its like pastor said before, "a crying child belongs on the lap of the Father". and when we're lost, in pain and don't know what or how to pray, all we have to do is cry out to Abba and He knows and is there to carry us.

birthdays and fights

haha my birthday was just over, and i thank God for all you lovely people really, it was a blast.

it was the first time i celebrated my birthday with my jc class, and it was really a surprise, didn't expect it at all :)

the caregroup's one was quite funny though. they managed to hide it till i went with the newcomer, Hui yi to the loo after dinner on saturday, and she asked "John was asking if we should spread the word about her birthday, who do you think they're talking about?" i just couldn't stop laughing when i saw her face as i said "uh, i think its me..."

and not forgetting my precious "brothers" whom i have known since i was about 14/15 years old. the sight of the silly "Buttercup" cake really made me smile :) haha, and of course, Pearlyn and her big fat cookie too :) thanks loves!



haha my street cred on fighters' club reached a full 5/5 today when i won the fight against joel with all the support. but i dropped to 4.59 in a silly fight (we lost 25 v 1) yeah, the guy alone won... and it dropped again to 3.75. but at least how it ended was seriously funny. haha :)

what's rightfully ours

i had a passing thought today. it goes like this:

as people, we often "fight" for what we believe to be rightfully ours. like no you can't take it, cause it belongs to me. i should have this or that because its my right as a human being.

but what about our 'right' as a child of God?

if we really felt that it was our right to be blessed, to live a glorious life that speaks of the favour and glory and blessedness of Jesus Christ, there would be no misperception of something that is detrimental to us, being a 'lesson' or merely an accept part of our lives would there?

well, to speak the truth, it is our right as children of God to be blessed, loved and to reign in life! because if its not, the death of Jesus Christ upon the cross would have been in vain!

your blessedness, well-being and peace of mind in every area of your life is your blood-bought right today. don't ever let anything or anyone convince you otherwise.

sure, we were once sinners, but having received the finished work and the blood of Jesus that keeps on keeping us righteous and holy, its heresy not to receive what God has said is your inheritance as a child for whom someone has died to leave for you, and resurrected to proclaim its eternal completion.

its your right! :) receive it.

Locklear, Locklear. sigh. i feel like Tylendel died all over again. sigh.
i hate it when the one of the good characters fall into an evil ploy and die because of it. especially when its characters that i really enjoy.

but that just proves that raymond e feist and mercedes lackey are good authors. i remember when tylendel died i was depressed for a week. and when vanyel died as well, it extended to 2 and a half weeks. sigh. RAHHHHR.

-points to characters- "Locklear, Tylendel and Vanyel, COME FORTH."

sound familiar anyone? ;) oh yes and amen.

just finished reading Prince of the Blood by Raymond E. Feist. am happy that Borric and Erland grew out of being boys and progressed to be men. but am EXTREMELY UPSET that Locklear died. VERY VERY UPSET. argggh.

mm its been awhile since i last updated. cheated on posting for a while, putting song upon song up, but well, haha too bad :P

so many times i seek for progression, a step forward to tell me that i've grown up, that i'm different from the way i was before. and its not limited to any one part of my life, but so so many. in Christ (ministry), in friendships, in mentality, in action. but often i find that when i prize something else above the one thing most needful, Jesus, i tend to lose it. not that it's anyone's fault, but that i place so much importance on that thing so consciously, that i gloss over everything and everyone else. then i realise what i missed out on, feelings that i hadn't deliberately but nonetheless, had hurt, including my own. and then i realise, it wasn't worth it.

so i decided. that this life be really lived for Christ and for me. not for anything else, nor to hope to achieve some lost dream. i'm not talking about ministry calling, or dreams God has placed in our hearts but small castles that as people, we tend to build in the air in hope that they come true. i wanna really just enjoy each moment and every person who crosses paths with me. seems unrealistic almost, but i'm not going crazy and seeking the impossible, i'm just starting to love this life a little more, and realise how much Jesus loves me that much more. i'm not saying that i'm going to make everything into "quality" for every second of my life but rather, that i'm not going to chase after anything other than Jesus. i can't be bothered and i just feel that, hey, Jesus said i'm cool with Him, and no one else is on my "need for approval" list, so i don't have to prove anything.

no, i don't want to despise the day of small beginnings, because its what You have put in my hands. i don't want to neglect the goings of today just because i'm too busy looking at tomorrow or the day after. i wanna walk this life, being conscious not ONLY that You hold the finishing line and have already marked my finishing point to be good, but also that while i'm walking down the roads of "everyday" that You're holding my hand through it all.

You get me

So I'm a little left of center
I'm a little out of tune
Some say I'm paranormal
So I just bend their spoon
Who wants to be ordinary
In a crazy, mixed-up world
I don't care what they're sayin'
As long as I'm your girl

Hey, you are on my side
And they, they just roll their eyes

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
Yeah, you get me

So what if I see the sunshine
In the pouring rain
Some people think I'm crazy
But you say it's okay
You've seen my secret garden
Where all of my flowers grow
In my imagination
Anything goes

I, I am all you want
They, they just read me wrong

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and hold my hand, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
Still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
'Cause you get me

Hey, you are on my side
They, they just roll their eyes
Yeah, yeah, yeah

'Cause you get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
When none of the pieces fit
You make sense of it
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still I want you all the time
Yeah, I do
'Cause you get me

my only hope

ONLY HOPE


There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again


So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope


Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again


So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope


I give You my destiny
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back


So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope






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i found a nice song. mm. who would have thought mandy moore sings christian songs? its actually the nicest song (at least i feel) she's ever done.


but at least she's right about something. that He's really our only hope. everything else is fallible or breakable, temporial and unreliable.

chase after He who is absolute, who is Life and Truth itself, and everything else will chase after you.

"For your Heavenly Father knows you have need of all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

sure, you can tell yourself, "no, i won't pay attention to all these temporial things," but can you really sway yourself? the only way you can actually do it is to be "distracted" FULLY by the love of Christ. such that when you fall so totally in love with Him that you have no attention span for anything else - NOT to say that you neglect your responsibilites, for the Christ in you will EMPOWER you to fulfill them - but that your heart's desire is most acutely set on the love and the person of Jesus Christ.

Because everything else can strive for perfection, can attempt to attain it, but even the sweetest person can get angry at times, even the most beautiful thing you can imagine may be unappreciated by someone else. humans are fallible, objects are breakable. nothing, apart from the person of Jesus Christ and His finished work lasts forever.

i guess i can say all this because i know for a fact how fallible people are, how everything else doesn't last. no, i'm not being emo, i'm just stating it as a fact. sure, i can get upset still at times, but i'm fallible as well. but my security, the absolutes in my life aren't constuctions or perceptions of truth construed by man but a person, that of Jesus Christ. sure, theories are nice, but guess what, that's all they are: theories.

whether or not we want to be disappointed, is your choice. sure, try as you might to attribute your disappointment to something "outside" of your control, ultimately it ties back to whether YOU are willing to sink into such an abyss of peace and love that hey, the world may sway but you won't.

just how much are you willing to allow yourself to fall in love with Him?

you might lose control, you might lose yourself, might lose your grip on His hand but more importantly, do you know that all the while, He's the one holding onto you?

smiling, the child
dances between the puddles,
laughs as the rain pours down,
pretending that its lemon drops falling,
attempting to catch with her mouth open,
as the old candy drops song had suggested.

sure, to reminisce does not equate to re-living it all. but it comes pretty close.

i miss the days when you were five and the world was simpler,
a time when i could run over and be sure that you'd meet me there.

rest

sometimes i just like to immerse myself in songs like this piano one thats playing right now on my blog. sure, its highly sentimental in the way it flows, but too bad if you dont like it, cause i happen to enjoy it. i wouldn't go as far as to say it makes me happy - hardly, considering how "emo" it is - but i like the way , at least for me, it sort of brings me to another time and another place, and makes me remember things and thoughts which are precious to me, and what is important to me in my life; which i happen to forget, all too often.

i could go on and on about this, but i'd really rather just sit back and enjoy.

i wish that i had the time to do the same in life, time where a person could just kick back and enjoy what's been placed on this earth by God for us to enjoy. but everything nowadays is rushrushrush, queuequeuequeue, that hardly anything's "fun" anymore. ok shall stop whining, think i just needed to get that out of my system.

i need rest. and yeah, as pastor said, the only thing God ever said that we should fear is that we not enter into His rest.

i remember my brother once told me, that if you asked yourself, "do i feel tired?" or have the compulsion to simply rest, you can be assured that you haven't been resting. its like a light kinda dawned upon me, like, oh yeah, that's true. all too often we labour and labour, getting caught up in the twists and turns of our daily lives that we sub-consciously place Jesus and His finished work aside, with a post-it note that says : erm, i'll get back to this later. sounds familiar? yeah it does to me too, so join the club or we can have an altar-call for liars ;)