Isaiah 51:7,11
"Listen to Me, you who know righteousness, you people in whose heart is My law: Do not fear the reproach of men, Nor be afraid of their insults.
For the moth will eat them up like a garment, and the worm will eat them like wool; but My righteousness will be forever, and My salvation from generation to generation. "
"So the ransomed of the Lord shall return, and come to Zion with singing, with everlasting joy on their heads. They shall obtain joy and gladness; Sorrow and sighing shall flee away."
Isaiah 54:17 (Amplified)
But no weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgement you shall show to be in the wrong. This (peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition) is the heritage of the servants of the Lord (those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced); this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me (this is that which I impart to them as their justification), says the Lord.
Those I've been talking to will know, the recent months have been trying for me. Don't really want to go into details, suffice to say - it's come in the form of verbal criticism and left me feeling like a failure and just so, so weary.
Don't get me wrong, the Lord still has been faithful. He's lavished upon me love and understanding, words in season but it seemed as though the "playback" button on my head was stuck on the "criticism category" instead of the rest that the Lord so dearly provides.
Truth be told, i felt so shaken that at a few points in time, i knew the only thing that stood between Kai-Lin-the-Child-of-God and Kai-Lin-going-ballistic was the love of God that never forsook me. He didn't forsake me. But somehow along the way, i had simply found myself nodding along to all the voices coming from the outside - giving in to those thoughts that simply wretch you out from the place of looking to Christ and sinks you into the depression that comes when you look to yourself.
But even in the midst of the darkness i felt i was experiencing, He would whisper sweet words of love to my heart, that His "grace is sufficient for you (me) and My (His) strength is made perfect in your (my) weakness". yet i felt my feelings wavering crazily, like a confused yo-yo, wondering why it was that at this point in time, when i spent more time than i have in the past in His Word and praying in the Spirit, all this continued?
My foundation wasn't fully built on His estimation of me. so as everything was shaken, so was i. deep down inside, i was aware of it, but i didn't want to accept it. and refused to, until my brother said it point-blank in my face on sunday. you bet it hurt, but it was necessary. an issue that needs to be resolved on the inside. its not what people are saying, its that inside, i can't deal with it. that's why it shakes my world.
"Know ye the truth and the truth shall set you free."
Pastor preached on this before, but while i thought i'd got it then, this little seed is starting to really grow now. i felt bound, pressed, simply awful in ways i couldn't really describe. i became sensitive to myself and the words of others, rather than sensitive to the words of God. the exact opposite of what i desired. and again, i didn't know why. i prayed and prayed, asked God why and why and why and why and why... you get the idea.
Someone told me that "truth hurts". another said, "what if what they're saying is the truth?" the first was said in jest, the second out of concern, but both hurt equally. (though neither was aimed to hurt. anyways, all forgiven) but it got me thinking, what if what they're saying really is the truth? and that started another whole spiral of thoughts that were far from edifying.
But the Lord reminded me of the verse above "Know ye the truth and the truth shall set you free." and His Word is truth.
Truth is a word sadly abused in the modern society. its used in phrases such as "to tell you the truth..." where something unpleasant is about to be said and the receiver of those words tend to put their guard up straight away.
But that's not what God says truth is.
Truth is not equivalent to fact. cause facts change, when, for example, there's a new scientific invention, a new school of thought, blah blah blah.
Beyond that, truth is something that can be tested, pressured and still remain. facts can be changed, affected, removed, replaced - like how man used to think the earth was flat (it was a fact then) until Christopher Columbus went for a holiday. Truth doesn't change according to circumstances in life - from every angle, it remains the truth.
And that's what God's word is. "Jesus loves Kai Lin" there's truth.
That truth doesn't change according to how i feel, nor does it sway according to what i experience. it remains steady and sure, whether or not i believe in it. but when i realise truly that that's truth, the truth that Christ loves me beyond measure every micromillisecond that passes, that the cross of Jesus has redeemed me beyond all failure, that the righteousness of God is on my side and His heart is tender towards me, i've found the rock on which i can base my life on. the truth that will establish me as one who will be unshaken by circumstance, by testing.
Fact may dictate my insufficiency, but TRUTH says that i'm not powerless. i don't have to slavishly bow to my circumstances that exist in fact. i'm more than a conqueror! i'm a King and High Priest, set apart and fit for the Master's use! facts have to conform to the truth, and i know, the Word of God - the truth shall not return to Him void. that's honest truth.
Thursday 11 December 2008
Wednesday 28 May 2008
The One who freely gives
Matthew 5: 6
'Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.'
Isn't Jesus just awesome? For He proves yet again that He is the Lord that is willing, the Lord who provides, the Lord who readily dispenses that which we ask of Him.
The Amplified here refers to righteousness as 'uprightness and right-standing with God', and we all know that the only way one can walk in the company of God is in the knowledge that we have the right to do so - knowing that we do not owe Him anything, knowing that we are allowed to do so because all our mistakes, past, present and future has already been borne on the person and the body of Jesus Christ.
And the way we know that right is ours is as we seek and see Jesus, in His love who has become our sin-offering for us, our eternal provision even before we had asked it of Him!
Seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened to you. For He who dispenses His love freely has promised that we are to be 'completely satisfied' [Amplified] .
'Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.'
Isn't Jesus just awesome? For He proves yet again that He is the Lord that is willing, the Lord who provides, the Lord who readily dispenses that which we ask of Him.
The Amplified here refers to righteousness as 'uprightness and right-standing with God', and we all know that the only way one can walk in the company of God is in the knowledge that we have the right to do so - knowing that we do not owe Him anything, knowing that we are allowed to do so because all our mistakes, past, present and future has already been borne on the person and the body of Jesus Christ.
And the way we know that right is ours is as we seek and see Jesus, in His love who has become our sin-offering for us, our eternal provision even before we had asked it of Him!
Seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened to you. For He who dispenses His love freely has promised that we are to be 'completely satisfied' [Amplified] .
Sunday 20 April 2008
far far away.
its been three weeks here in the US of A. and i wouldn't say the experience is upsetting or unpleasant, but rather, pleasant yet slightly unsettling. way out of my comfort zone, experiencing a vastly different world from the one in which i have been accustomed to.
people say time and tide wait for no man, and halfway round the world, i cannot help but consider, wonder what i may be missing out on, despite that which i have gained while i'm where i am.
don't get me wrong, the place here is so vastly different, with land abundant and beautiful houses, old buildings that are still being used - though probably would have been considered historical monuments in singapore. the weather is beautiful, with little rain and as of recently, bright sunshine with cool temperatures and cool breeze coming straight towards here in the gulf of mexico.
yet as my reliance upon those around me is removed from my near immediate premises, so is my reliance on Him and His faithfulness increased. after all, who else is there to turn to? i mean that not in a bitter nor sad way, but merely as a matter of fact.
perhaps this could be considered a period of testing, for i had forgotten the feeling of being so far removed from the friends whom i have come to treasure and the company i so enjoy. alongside the communal anointing of a church gathered before Daddy God, and the anointing of freedom, of grace that i had become so used to.
and perhaps i had become numb to that which had so freely been given, and in time, taken for granted - oh, typical, one might say, but here, i truly miss that corporate anointing which had always been present in our gatherings.
and having been in such an amazing presence of grace and love multiple times, and after less than a month, feeling its seperation, i seem to recall the time when none of this had been present in my life, and wonder now, as i did then, how much meaning life had truly seemed to hold for me then.
that time is distant, yet seemingly not far away in my recollection.
but i would that the memory of the past not rob the beauty of the present, rahter amplifying it in its contrast.
people say time and tide wait for no man, and halfway round the world, i cannot help but consider, wonder what i may be missing out on, despite that which i have gained while i'm where i am.
don't get me wrong, the place here is so vastly different, with land abundant and beautiful houses, old buildings that are still being used - though probably would have been considered historical monuments in singapore. the weather is beautiful, with little rain and as of recently, bright sunshine with cool temperatures and cool breeze coming straight towards here in the gulf of mexico.
yet as my reliance upon those around me is removed from my near immediate premises, so is my reliance on Him and His faithfulness increased. after all, who else is there to turn to? i mean that not in a bitter nor sad way, but merely as a matter of fact.
perhaps this could be considered a period of testing, for i had forgotten the feeling of being so far removed from the friends whom i have come to treasure and the company i so enjoy. alongside the communal anointing of a church gathered before Daddy God, and the anointing of freedom, of grace that i had become so used to.
and perhaps i had become numb to that which had so freely been given, and in time, taken for granted - oh, typical, one might say, but here, i truly miss that corporate anointing which had always been present in our gatherings.
and having been in such an amazing presence of grace and love multiple times, and after less than a month, feeling its seperation, i seem to recall the time when none of this had been present in my life, and wonder now, as i did then, how much meaning life had truly seemed to hold for me then.
that time is distant, yet seemingly not far away in my recollection.
but i would that the memory of the past not rob the beauty of the present, rahter amplifying it in its contrast.
Monday 17 March 2008
Declare Freedom
as children of God to whom the Word has declared victory, we often wonder why our circumstances even exist.
wouldn't it all be perfect, simply if there was no opposition in our lives, such that things went exactly and solely the way we wanted it to?
i don't know if anyone else has, but i sure have thought that way.
or perhaps, why we should even bother to change and move towards the life that Christ has redeemed for us - as in, what's wrong with the way that we live now?
it occurred to me a week or so back that perhaps trials, problems happen to give us a reason.
let me explain myself, imagine a prison, and a prisoner standing within, with the key.
the odd thing that should probably occur to one would be - if he has the key, why is he still in there?
but in some sense, are we the same?
Prisoners, holding the key to freedom within our prison cells but simply having no reason to get out.
i'm not justifying or seeking to explain why negative stuff happen in some peoples' lives, but maybe, we could change our perspectives some, and see things as an opportunity, a reason to use the keys freely given to us in Christ.
wouldn't it all be perfect, simply if there was no opposition in our lives, such that things went exactly and solely the way we wanted it to?
i don't know if anyone else has, but i sure have thought that way.
or perhaps, why we should even bother to change and move towards the life that Christ has redeemed for us - as in, what's wrong with the way that we live now?
it occurred to me a week or so back that perhaps trials, problems happen to give us a reason.
let me explain myself, imagine a prison, and a prisoner standing within, with the key.
the odd thing that should probably occur to one would be - if he has the key, why is he still in there?
but in some sense, are we the same?
Prisoners, holding the key to freedom within our prison cells but simply having no reason to get out.
i'm not justifying or seeking to explain why negative stuff happen in some peoples' lives, but maybe, we could change our perspectives some, and see things as an opportunity, a reason to use the keys freely given to us in Christ.
Tuesday 12 February 2008
hello loves, yes its been awhile but praise the Lord and start dancing, because i'm finally back! :)
for those of you who don't know, i've been working in CJC as a relief teacher (full-time working hours :S), teaching general paper. its tiring but rewarding at the same time, which can be interesting and frustrating at the same time - especially when i have to chase for homework... x)
but praise God, for as it appears, my classes appear to have been far more cooperative than some colleagues of mine.
haha i love my classes, they're fun and no one bullies me. :D
often, my students remind me so much of my own friends and sometimes, even myself. it seems a bit odd, but quite interesting at the same time. and i pray that they will be happy wherever they may go, and keep those smiles i have seen on their faces no matter what they may face. that they have the boldness to step forward and not be crippled by the fear of failure.
and i leave them all in the hands of Jesus.
You raise me up
So i can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
and i am strong, when i am on Your shoulders
You raise me up,
to more than i can be
sometimes, times may bear down upon us harshly, and life becomes a blur of deadlines and consequences. yet it is important to remember that as children of God, we're in this world but not of this world. the going gets tough yes, but Christ has accomplished all. we can cry, we can break down, but no, we are never alone. He makes us more than we are. we might lose sight of who we are, what we stand for, but He never loses sight of us.
we are made for eternal purposes, what is visible is only temporal.
languish in His love, and it will lavish out on those around you.
God bless :)
for those of you who don't know, i've been working in CJC as a relief teacher (full-time working hours :S), teaching general paper. its tiring but rewarding at the same time, which can be interesting and frustrating at the same time - especially when i have to chase for homework... x)
but praise God, for as it appears, my classes appear to have been far more cooperative than some colleagues of mine.
haha i love my classes, they're fun and no one bullies me. :D
often, my students remind me so much of my own friends and sometimes, even myself. it seems a bit odd, but quite interesting at the same time. and i pray that they will be happy wherever they may go, and keep those smiles i have seen on their faces no matter what they may face. that they have the boldness to step forward and not be crippled by the fear of failure.
and i leave them all in the hands of Jesus.
You raise me up
So i can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
and i am strong, when i am on Your shoulders
You raise me up,
to more than i can be
sometimes, times may bear down upon us harshly, and life becomes a blur of deadlines and consequences. yet it is important to remember that as children of God, we're in this world but not of this world. the going gets tough yes, but Christ has accomplished all. we can cry, we can break down, but no, we are never alone. He makes us more than we are. we might lose sight of who we are, what we stand for, but He never loses sight of us.
we are made for eternal purposes, what is visible is only temporal.
languish in His love, and it will lavish out on those around you.
God bless :)
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