feelings about feeling

okay, this is going to be a long post. read carefully, i hope it well bless you as it did me, because the more i typed the more Jesus opened up to me and the more i had to type.

pastor's message today was great. while the message was meant to bless families and offer direction to parents, i feel that as a child, i was lent an inside view into the mentality and the perspective that parents approach things from as well. and it helped me understand much of what i had gone through, am still going through and why. i felt really blessed. yet having pastor already expound on that part, maybe i'll just talk about something else that really jumped out at me during service in the course of one of pastor's rabbit trails.


Pastor mentioned that Jesus doesn't just sympathise - in the modern context of the word - with how we feel. He feels what we feel, whenever we're happy or sad. (ref Hebrews 4:15) i don't know about the rest of you, but that was important to me. it gave me assurance on a deeper level. more than just a Saviour who dwells in you, who offers you unconditional love and support - though without doubt, all of that is already infinitely precious - we have a Saviour who has the ability to feel exactly how you feel. and just as children - or rather, people who in general require someone to simply listen to them more than offer advice (we can come to our own conclusions yeah? ;) ) Jesus doesn't just listen and understand on a verbally communicated basis, He understands it through His own experiencing of it as well - in feeling what you feel. and that establishes His position doesn't it? the song Iris by the GooGoo Dolls going, " and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand", made the song a huge hit. and all of us understand why. cause we've all felt that way before. why bother telling someone who doesn't understand? but more than anyone else, He shows us that He does.

and now, perhaps to continue on what pastor had mentioned, i think its important that we realise the difference between that acceptance of feelings and the action that we act out with reference to the action. as pastor mentioned just now, its important that parents are able to differentiate between the child saying "i FEEL like i don't want..." and "i don't want...". One's a feeling the other is an action.

and as a child myself (believe me i know) how it can be difficult, how it can be annoying and how it can be hurtful when parents don't listen. trust me, when pastor gave analogies, at so many points i almost felt he was talking about me, so much that i teared up in my seat, haha.

but likewise, perhaps i will share some stuff that Jesus has shared with me before. just as parents have to differentiate, children have to be able to differentiate as well (okay, i'm assuming that since you're reading my blog, you're at least over twelve years of age here)

let me explain what i mean here. lets say, i give the analogy of child A getting angry with brother B and lets say, shouts at him. so the parent comes over, and scolds the child, "how can you shout at your brother?" ok, question: what is the parent upset about? what is the scolding here directed at? like pastor mentioned, feelings are not moral - they aren't exactly right or wrong. rather, how we act upon the feelings dictate their "rightness" so to speak. the scolding here is not directed at the child getting angry. its that the child shouted at someone. there's a difference. is there anyone who hasn't gotten angry before? even the nicest person has limits. but the action that translated out of that anger is the part that is wrong, not the anger itself. parents have to realise that and differentiate it. and children have to know that as well.

another thing that pastor brought up was the time that Jesus had mentioned (i'm para-phrasing here), how different are you from the world if you smile at someone who smiles at you, wave at someone who waves at you? like myself, some of you may have parents who aren't saved yet, and them not knowing Jesus is difficult for them as human beings (you should know the difference yourself), which may sometimes translate into how they treat you. it takes someone bigger of heart to love someone who does not deserve to be loved. as children of God who are supported and supplied with the love we require to love others, do you think its easier to love for us, or for someone who doesn't have Jesus and draws out any love they exhibit out of their own limited supply?


this may sound terrible and shocking, but in a world like the one we're in today, parents aren't obligated to love their children. think of all the baby dumping, the abortions and what-have-yous that exist today? but maybe we should see that having decided to love us - yes, even in their own imperfect ways - perhaps we should already be rejoicing that they love us and remain with us at all? we tend to cherish friendship and endeavour to spend time with our friends because we ATTACH A VALUE to the love that we receive from them. perhaps its because we expect our parents to be always there, that we under-value them, and in turn, makes it difficult for us to show that we or even to just simply appreciate them..

i remember once, pastor mentioned that when you love someone, you should love them the way that they want to be loved. at that moment, i understood that, but received it in 2 different ways. i understood what pastor meant, that people interpret love differently and in order for you to have done something that they interpret to be love, it requires you to have done it in their language of love. for example, if someone hates flowers and loves cookies, but you hate cookies and give them flowers, they won't feel loved, cause they hate the way you showed that you loved them when you bought them flowers! if you really love them, you would buy them cookies because you know that'e what they appreciate, and they in turn will register it as love. you love them the way they know it to be loved, not the way you want to love them.

i understood that, but applied that to the people around me. i thought, see they don't understand. thoughts of "why can't they, why must they, why couldn't they" just filled my mind, and before i knew it, i had condemned many around me. but one day the Lord asked me, " what about you?" it surprised me. then i realised that perhaps, these people didn't realise what they were doing. unlike myself, they didn't know about loving people the way they should be loved but having been from a different generation, just as their parents before them, they loved the only way they knew how. this was the way they had been treated, so sub-consciously, this is what they register to be the definition of parental love, and thus, this is what they show. And myself, in condemning them - whether i meant to or not, it doesn't matter - in not realising and interpreting their language of love, was doing the exact same thing they were doing to me, not loving them they way they wanted to be and interpreted love to be.








i hope you caught all that and it blessed you. and now i just caught something with reference to righteousness according to what pastor preached about rightesousness today. so even if you haven't exactly caught all that just now, catch this:


pastor mentioned that feelings are amoral, neither right nor wrong. let's take a look at that in reference to us believing that we're righteous. many times, when we do something that we feel is wrong, whether intentionally or unintentionally, we can end up wrought with guilt and condemnation - let's be real here yeah? but the thing is, here's the crux. the conviction of righteousness that the Holy Spirit accuses us of is based on the cross - that our feelings are not important and do not dictate our value, as the cross has paid for everything already. rather than feelings of condemnation or whatever translating into worse actions (remember: condemnation kills), the cross is that basis to which we can point and say, "no, this is not the be all and end all, this is not what is significant" because our value, our righteousness and our worth is wrapped up in the person and the finished work of Jesus Christ.

just as God's confimation and affirmation of Jesus as His beloved child allowed Him to perform miracles (recall: Jesus' first miracle only started after God called Him His beloved Son), our identity, our utmost affirmation of God's love is wrapped up in the person of Jesus Christ. The Bible puts it this way: we know love through the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. the cross wraps up our undeserved identity, our identity as King and High Priest, child of God. Compared to a servant, a prince or princess walks with a different air of authority and confidence, simply because of who their father is, knowing the power they have through Him.

as we can. :)

falling down and standing up.

people often say that its ok if you fall, you just have to get back up again.
but its easier said than done.
for the average person, standing back up may not be where they want to be. sure, no one likes to fall down, but standing back up on your own two feet ain't easy. i would know. you struggle to stand up, only to feel tossed about by everything and find yourself on your behind again. everyone's been there.

but here's the crux. that was before. for a child of God, even when you fall, you fall into the all-protected, cushion-y zone of grace. and the difference is that you can stand up, because you stand with the approval of God. you have the RIGHT to stand, to not stand is to not claim something that's rightfully yours. and you have the courage to stand, because you know you won't be tossed about, your future is NOT unsure. it is definite, definitely good. you win, not because you fought harder but simply because in Christ, you're a winner. its only right that you win. because God has the last say in yoour life.

for my convenience

current ear worm. it won't get out of my head, in a good way though.




卒業 ～さよならは明日のために～
sotsugyou ~sayonara wa ashita no tame ni~ // graduation ~for tomorrow we say goodbye~
タッキー＆翼 // TACKEY & TSUBASA
2wenty2wo; TRACK 015


もしも一つだけ　たった一つだけ
かなえられるなら　なにを祈るかな？

moshimo hitotsu dake tatta hitotsu dake
kanae rareru nara nani o inoru kana?

if I have one wish only one wish
that could come true what would I pray for?

いまどこにいるの？　いま誰といるの？
青い空見上げ　そっと問いかける

ima doko ni iru no? ima dare to iru no?
aoi sora miage sotto toi kakeru

where are you now? who are you with?
looking up at the blue sky I ask in a whisper

With you　すぐそばにいた頃の君はいない
With you　離れても変わらないと約束したのに

With you sugu soba ni ita koro no kimi wa inai
With you hanarete mo kawaranai to yakusoku shita no ni

with you you are no longer always by my side like before
with you even if we once promised to never change when we separated

たとえばぼくたちが想い出になる
そばのぬくもりにわ　もうかなわないから
せつないためいきが　不意にこぼれた
舞い上がれ遥か遠く君に届くように

tatoeba bokutachi ga omoi de inai
soba no nukumori ni wa mou kanawanai kara
setsunai tameiki ga fui ni koboreta
mai agare haruka tooku kimi ni todoku you ni

if everything between us shall become a memory
it’s only because the warmth around us now is irresistable [1]
a sudden sound, a helpless sigh
it flies and drifts towards you in the distance

きっとその未来　ぼくはもういない
それだけのことに　やっと気づいたよ

kitto sono mirai boku wa mou inai
soredake no koto ni yatto kizuita yo

a future with you surely no longer belongs to me
it’s such a simple thing but I’ve only just realized

For me　迷ってたぼくの背を押してくれた
For me　微笑みに隠していた悲しがる瞳

for me mayotte ta boku no se o oshite kureta
for me hohoemi ni kakushite ita kanashigaru hitomi

for me you’ve once brought me determination when I was lost
for me hiding under the smile is a pair of wistful eyes [2]

たとえばぼくたちがさよならになる
そばにいてほしいと、そうつぶやいていた
やるせない想いが声にならない
せめてこの祈りだけは君に届くように

tatoeba bokutachi ga sayonara ni naru
soba ni ite hoshii to sou tsubuyaite ita
yarusenai omoi ga koe ni naranai
semete kono inori dake wa kimi ni todoku you ni

if we must say goodbye from now on
I mutter to myself, I wish you were by my side
this persistent feeling of longing cannot be expressed in words
I wish that this prayer of mine will at least reach your ears

終われない想い　空に放して
たとえ一人でも　歩いていくから

owarenai omoi sora ni hanashite
tatoe hitori demo aruite iku kara

let this neverending longing be dispersed into the sky
even if I am the only one left I have to walk on

桜の花が舞う　あの日のように
まぶしい想い出のヒカリを反射して
せつないためいきて　色鮮やかに
舞い上がれこの想いのすべて　届けてくれ

sakura no hana ga mau ano hi no you ni
mabushii omoi de no HIKARI o utsushite
setsunai tameiki de iro azayaka ni
mai agare kono omoi no subete todokete kure

the cherry blossoms dance in the sky, just like that day
the dazzling memories in the light
helplessly sighing, let them become more colorful
let all of these thoughts fly, and hope that they reach your side [3]

たてえばぼくたちが想い出になる
そばのぬくもりには　もうかなわないから
さよならは未来のためにあるから
舞い上がれ遙か遠く君に届くように

tatoeba bokutachi ga omoi de ni naru
soba no nukumori ni wa mou kanawanai kara
sayonara wa mirai no tame ni aru kara
mai agare haruka tooku kimi ni todoku you ni

if everything between us shall become a memory
it’s only because the warmth around us now is irresistable
for that very distant future we say goodbye
it flies and drifts towards you in the distance

[1] the sentiment behind this line is that the warmth of the people around the singer now is a much stronger force than feelings for the person who is far away.

[2] this line is just random.

[3] it really means i’ll let all my memories and thoughts fly and i’ll just hope that they reach your side, but it’s kind of weird in the subject. so. just worded weirdly

healthy lifestyle (check this out dave!)

from coach maddy's blog, hilarious and apparently from one of the pastors.

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.


Final Word

And remember: For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart atacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.