tingling thoughts

i was just thinking for a bit.

what are memories to a person?

for me, sweet ones, like my older brother taking care of me when i was too scared of the dark to go to sleep and there were knocking noises in the ceiling- later found out to be from the silly cat that climbed on my roof- but all the same, its sweet cos i fell asleep in his room and he carried me over back to mine after i was off to dreamland. i was around ten or eleven i think.

or weird early ones, that just seem to remain stuck in your head, for some particular reason. for me, one of the earliest i have would be either playing with my childhood playmates aka neighbours or that old beggar in penang who had croaked out "God bless you child, God bless you." when i had put some money in his cup.

like what those researchers say, nobody actually forgets anything, but its more like how easily they assess their memories and what sparks off the remembering.




another weird thought.

what are people really scared of when it comes to the totality of death itself. no, i'm not talking about the process - like sickness or pain - but death itself. hey, for me at least, i know that my death will only result in me going to heaven to be with Jesus, yet my reason to live is to glorify His name and live in His call in my life. but to me it seems that what people are afraid of when it comes to death is that the happiness found in the past or present is sealed away forever and no longer accessible. while knowing that heaven holds much more joy that this earth does, its like a foolish part of ourselves struggle with letting go, despite knowing it would be for the better. but no, while i realise all this, i recognise all this, its like i have to constantly renew my mind - for my flesh is weak- and peel off my clenched fingers from whatever i'm holding onto, and toss it to Jesus.

because saying its inevitable is more often than not, just an excuse. rather, its a decision.

what do you want in this life?




seems like i've been doing quite a bit of thinking today.





-even if i'm not the cause of that smile, i'm happy to see you smile :)

im tired.

been having bowling nationals all week and prepping for maths test tmr. moreover, the test was supposed to be in the afternoon but because of bowling nationals, i have to take it in the morning instead, at 7.30 am and then go off for nationals directly after. oh God.

and i havent finished studying. i really dont want to fail but sigh, i really dont know. whatever it is, i'm going to MUG like mad during the june hols. NO way am i going to allow myself to fail for the other subs. zz.

mm so yeah i'll just dump a picture of some of the bowlers here. la dee da.

yesterday was sports day at school! no lessons and just play whee. the j1 class of t3 seems to be pretty cool, compared to all the horror stories of j1s i've heard from the other j2s. :)

went to support the guys at the bowling competition. scream scream scream. tired. zz uncle danny (coach) kept making me laugh with all his pokes at what and how and why the guys were goofing up. heh.

then went to potong pasir for dinner and caregroup. :) haha coach gary said its the most people we've had for caregroup thus far. >.< had yummy yummy thai food then a lovely time of praise and worship with jo and george leading. then sharing by coach gary, and ruoyun, yang yan, michelle, george, dave, lanz, jo, eunice, clarice and hope i didnt miss anyone out there. but it was great, it was fun. having not been able to make it for caregroup for ages, it was great to be back. :)

as for some tangled thoughts, i think i'll just wrap them up and toss them to Jesus so they won't annoy me. haha.

mothers's day

mothers' day was yesterday.

i miss you more than ever mummy. i wish i could just fly over to USA.

whee :)) today was fun!

went for arrow service this afternoon and it was great, theworship was just so good and it was a refreshing of the spirit. no matter where i am, what im doing, i know that even the overflow, the droplets of Jesus' showers of blessing are more than enough for me and everything i may go through. yet the Lord is faithful and giving, that He does not grudge on the giving, but showers such abundance of love down upon me.

no, its not my circumstances or what people may say to me or about me that define or affect me.
especially if they don't know my Jesus. even if they may be family.
i'm not going to allow myself to be a thermometer, im a thermostat in Christ! i set the tone, i don't get affected by it.

i want to live knowing and being SO aware of what you have in store for me and in me. to not just pass each day but to enjoy the process of the day the Lord has made. not just to hope it'll pass faster, no. and how that will happen, i'll just leave it to be a miracle in Your hands Lord, and with all my troubles. i'll not worry Jesus, i will not be afraid. I receive that favour and provision, i live that King-Priest inheritance.


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anyways, :)) had a gorgeous time with the old humphrey gang today :) we gathered to celebrate qi hui's birthday at vivo marche :D whee.


here's us at marche :)


and here's us just before we parted ways and went home, near the mrt.

haha i missed you all. meeting all you precious people again was fun.

rurouni kenshin

ok i'm annoyed.

my favorite anime series of all time, was just...ruined.

because i watched the OVA.

it was mostly the parts of the comic that wasn't showed in the main TV series.. but also, how he DIED. of LEPROSY.
and how he reverted back to his old name of 'shinta' instead of keeping 'kenshin'.

i always thought that even though he couldn't use the sword when he got older, he would keep the 'kenshin'- that heart of sword.

so so disappointing.

and it didn't follow the comic plot and romanticised the characters and the story in the OVA. even the tom-boyish girl became some sort of gentle, saintly figure argh.

ok rambling here. but seriously.

maybe i shouldn't have watched it.

at least the rest of them didn't die, other than him and his wife (who's set to die but didnt die yet - am i making sense?)





thank God when God changes us, and changes our name, there's no way we're reverting.
'cause sickness and disease ain't got any hold on me, nope, not me in Christ and His sozo-life!


i wish Kenshin knew and accepted Jesus.